The Necessary Step of Setting Boundaries in Business Relationships

You run a successful, impactful organization that makes a real difference in people’s lives. You eat, breathe, and sleep the organization’s mission. And you know how important your business relationships are to furthering that mission. In fact, the organization would not likely have the ability to survive without some of them. Fundamentally understanding this, you have worked diligently to establish solid relationships. You praise your donors, clients, and partners for what they do and the crucial role they play in your success. But oftentimes, you also recognize there is an inherent power disparity in some of these relationships. Your donors and clients know you need them, and whether it’s consciously or subconsciously, they may be prone to taking advantage of the power imbalance from time to time.

Blurry or Non-Existent Lines

Those with whom you work need to trust you, of course, but at what cost? Does that trust mean you are a complete open book 24/7? Does it mean they should have access to you wherever and whenever they please? Where are the boundaries? Unfortunately, too often, they don’t exist. And with your sense of obligation to them, the answers to these questions become exceedingly blurry. In the beginning, you probably never dreamt of saying no to a donor, client, or business associate or partner. Yet slowly, after continuous requests that seem slightly more overreaching or inappropriate with each call, email, or text, you begin to feel like you must accept any and all behavior. Over time, this acquiescence turns into resentment, and soon, the relationship begins to deteriorate.

Some signs that your boundaries are being pushed, bent, or even broken may include increased insistence to meet or talk before and after work hours, involving you into their personal issues, and increased disruptions to your normal routine. Essentially, the other person is determining what, if any, boundaries exist. Your stress level increases drastically with each “Yes,” “Sure,” or “No Problem,” that should have been an immediate “No.” Soon, the strain on the relationship carries over from you individually to the organization itself, with the potential of losing the very relationship you were desperately trying to protect. It’s long past time to set some boundaries.

Time to Draw the Line

Admittedly, it can be difficult to know where to draw the line. You want a certain level of trust in your business relationships. Actually, you need people to trust you. But, like any relationship, a lack of boundaries creates ambiguity, unmet expectations, and frustration, and can seriously jeopardize or even destroy the relationship. In contrast, setting boundaries from the beginning leads to strong, healthy relationships. When you clearly communicate your expectations with others, they are far more likely to respect you and your time.

Logistically, drawing the line is not exceedingly difficult. It usually comes down to saying one simple word – “No.” We often pause because the emotions involved give us that funny feeling in our stomachs. Simply, they make us uncomfortable. But we must respect ourselves enough to push through them and get to the other side. As Brené Brown told us, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

If you’re struggling, remember a few key points – when you say no, explain why you are saying no, so the other person can better understand your perspective. Don’t feel guilty for doing so by remembering that it is ultimately for the benefit of you both, as well as the organization, in the long run. And finally, remember to be kind throughout the process. They may not understand at first, but they will.

Boundaries, no matter where or why they are drawn, are founded on the following:

·        Clear communication,

·        Structure in the relationship, including roles and responsibilities,

·        Consistency, and

·        Transparent expectations.

Setting specific limits on your availability, and being clear on your own and the organization’s values and boundaries, will not only build mutual respect, but will build stronger, healthier relationships that will stand the test of time. Remember, these relationships are built on the organization’s mission and value. And while that mission may be closely aligned with the other person in some significant way, that alignment should never be confused with friendship.

For more information about setting boundaries with your donors, clients, partners, or associates, and how to keep yourself and others accountable to the limitations set, please reach out at hello@thewinwoman.com .

Until next time, keep Building Your BADASSERY.